You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You just need to start believing in yourself. Try getting other people to clap their hands, if they believe in you.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
About your new idea... Sure, I'll bet you could sell your handmade voodoo dolls by marketing them over the Internet. The competition, however, can be "fierce." You might want to stop and consider how many flights of stairs you're interested in falling down, before you commit yourself to that course of action...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Deny everything.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will find that it is true - everything is better with the addition of either chocolate or garlic (but not both). Well, except for running shoes, that is.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Don't worry about your hair. It's your breath that makes people look at you like that.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Your feet will continue to trouble you today, although you won't be quite able to put your finger on what's wrong. You haven't been that flexible in years.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Bad juju today. Stay well clear of West African carved figurines.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A package will arrive for you today, from a distant relative in Tibet. Scarlet-robed assassins will begin following you.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Try to avoid things that are squooshy today. Especially giant green squooshy things that probably came from outer space. (Hint: most giant green squooshy things are, in fact, from outer space.)
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
This may be a good time to take up squid farming. Provided that you can figure out what type of hat to wear, that is.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Birds figure heavily in your day, today. My advice? Wear a hat.
____________________ Teachers can learn much from their students.
