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7fireflies
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Posted: Fri Mar 21st, 2008 04:10 pm |
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When you first begin to realize that there is something out there that is unknown, bigger than you are and probably smarter, it brings out our adventurous curiosity, our inborn nature to discover and understand. There are many researchers in this forum that are new to this field and are ripe to learn and create some basis to all that they read and see. It can be overwhelming, addictive and all consuming. There have been many a marriage that has not survived the obsession for this truth. I, myself, have lost because the need to understand something so real was not realized by my partner. I couldn't understand why that when such an incredible discovery roams just outside your door, that a common interest did not occur.
I believe it is an individual and spiritual journey and not all care to take it. As I have stated before, God makes no mistakes. They are here for a reason and perhaps there are a chosen few who by some divine guidance seek out these individuals who co-exhist with us. I cannot make excuses for allowing the overwhelming obsession for truth to overtake my marriage. I have and always will feel that the giants are very important and need to be understood but was it enough to allow a marriage to disintegrate. There is meaning in the existence of the giants that extends to our lives, much the way that animal totems have relevance in Native American ways.
What do you do when your partner does not share your interest? When you excitedly relate new events and you can tell that they are really not interested at all and try to change the subject or react with resentment. They used to be your obsession and now you have found new interest in something else. I am sure this goes with any new interest but seeking the giants is a totally different game, a never ending revelation in discovery and evolution of your own spirit.
Don't misunderstand, the only regret I have over the loss of my marriage was that I somehow feel that what I did was wrong. You should always put your partner first and I didn't always. I fancied myself as Mrs. Columbus and Mr. Columbus stayed in Spain with a huge grudge. I should have been more patient, understanding and giving. I never allowed my duties as a spouse to fall behind, I continued to cook, clean and love but I could not give him all of myself because I was a big foot researcher. I craved to be in the woods learning, experiencing and becoming more human than I had ever felt. I would get aggravated because I was forced to forgo a good situation in the field to appease him to sit and watch tv or stay tied to the telephone with him. He would get aggravated because I would stay but my heart was not in it, obviously. To him, I did not want to spend time with him which there was some truth in that. Foremost, I just didn't want to stay inside when there was living going on just beyond the trees. He would go with me if we took the four wheeler but I knew the noise would disrupt all life, rendering it pointless to bother. It wasn't just the bigfoot out there but all the other wildlife and how they related to each other that was facinating to me. I just couldn't make him understand. He used to hunt and he still found nothing amazing in the forest. To me it was the most original show you could watch, real and facinating.
Slowly, I began to change or maybe change is not the right word.Maybe revert back is a better explanation. I was responding to my inner voice, the call of the natural world. Those dreams and earthly accomplishments that we had always based our relationship on became less and less important to me. We had enough, we had plenty, there was no need for another boat or a new addition or getting richer. I could not find an interest in talking about it. It seemed so unnecessary to me, so material. Something in my spirit was calling me to seek that which is natural within us all. It wasn't bigfoot as much as it was God's world that I yearned to be in. My spouse was not an outdoors person anymore and staying in the house seemed like a cage with a view of the world outside. I realized and he did too that we were two different facets of nature, I was the wind and he was solid ground. He can still blame it on Big foot but the blame is on me. Bigfoot are what they are. Likely my partner and I were never really that compatible in the first place.Perhaps, he felt he could tame me. I don't know. When I drove away for the last time, I wept. Sadly, I did not weep for the lost relationship as much as I did for the woods I would never see again. They were my comfort, my teacher and my old friend.
So what I am trying to say is that if you are new and you feel your partner is not on board, you may be headed for trouble. Be very careful. I am not trying to discourage you by any means but there must be balance. Researching changed me and I like who I am today. I wouldn't go back because I am what I believe I was always meant to be. You will find that over time you will change too. You may become more spiritually endowed but may outgrow your partner in that area creating a bridge between you. Do whatever you can to include your spouse. Sometimes people marry bigfoot researchers but most often it comes after so the non researching partner is suddenly married to a person who studies an unknown being that most don't believe in. My ex called it chasing leprachauns and in essence that it the way it seemed to him. Looking at it from his point of view, I guess I can count my blessings that I was not involuntarily committed to the nearest state hospitol. It was a joke to him and it was my reality.
Perhaps you are blessed with an understanding spouse. That is a sign of a stable relationship where understanding and love prevails. Take my advice and go above and beyond to give them the attention they deserve. Bigfoot is going nowhere. Pay attention to your priorities and continue to try to share that passion with them. One day, if the light of reality should shine upon them, they just might join you in your quest for truth. God wants you to have understanding and compassion for the creatures of the woods but He also wants you to find that balance between the family He has blessed you with and the natural desire to discover, his gift to you. Take it from one who has lived and learned, bigfoot research fullfills your spirit but family is love. There is no greater gift.
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Courage does not always roar, Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying,......" I will try again tommorow."
Mary Anne Radmacher
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tx7mm
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Posted: Sat Mar 22nd, 2008 02:39 am |
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Thank you for sharing a very heartfelt and informative post. You have thought about this a long time. I am single and have never been married. My beleif in bigfoot may be one of the many reasons why.
You are right about the spiritual aspect of Bigfoot. I believe there are people who can "see" and those who can't. Those who can't "see" notice nothing unusual. It is almost like they have blinders on and can only focus on their own narrow path of existance. Those who can "see" are different. I can tell when I meet someone if the person can "see" or not. You marvel at the complexity of the world. To not only see the forest but also the animals and trees within it.
I thank God for letting me be able to not only see with my eyes ,but also with my spirit. Follow your heart and your spirit they lead you in certain directions for a reason. You may not understand it at the time, but in the end it will all make sense.
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"Vegetables are what FOOD EATS!" -Confirmed CARNIVORE -TX7MM
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Gigantotejano
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Posted: Sat Mar 22nd, 2008 04:10 pm |
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I can't believe I missed this post.
What you are saying is so very true. I have always loved being in the outdoors and have always told others I am closest to God when I am observing his creations first hand. You give sound advice 7fireflies. My last marriage lasted almost ten years but eventually my research got in the way of our relationship. I became obsessed with research and my spouse did not share my passion for research or the great outdoors. My children were never left out and went with me whenever they could and they now share my passion for bigfoot research and the great outdoors.
I founded the Texas Bigfoot Research Center in 1999 and by 2001 I was in the midst of a devastating divorce and by 2002 I was divorced and was no longer the director of the TBRC. My decision to research not only cost me my wife, but the research group I was so proud of. I was not capable of making good decisions due to my emotional state. Bigfoot research had become a double edged sword and I lost everything. I became very bitter towards many people and lost touch with the research community for a long time. I continued to research independently but knew I had something to share with people and got back in touch with the research community. There are several people on this forum who have stood by my side and have ALWAYS supported me. My new wife and I met several people at a meeting here in Texas several years ago. There were several people on this forum who were at the meeting. 7firelies, Dixie Banshee, Bigfoot Crossroads and probably more who were there. Forgive me if I did not mention anyone else. I was totally re-inspired by these people. I saw their passion and their drive. They were totally on fire. I knew right then and there I still had something to offer and I can only thank those kind people for showing this to me. Each and every one of them still to this day stand by me even when I am down. I call these people true friends. I found out that what I do in research touches many people’s lives in one way or another. I will share what I know about these fascinating creatures with whoever will listen. I only hope it helps them on this incredible journey called bigfoot research.
If not careful research will consume you and chew you up and spit you out if you let it. Don’t become lost in the political BS that seems to plague the research community and follow your heart.
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What goes bump in the night is not always the shutters banging against the windows.
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7fireflies
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 04:42 am |
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Thank you for your support on this post, from those who posted here and the pm's I got too. I couldn't figure out why I posted this. I didn't start out posting this but had another subject in mind all together. I talked to Shasta about it, saying that I felt I had gotten too personal and was embarrassed about it. She suggested that I might have been steered that way by God to reach someone out there. I told her something was going on because I was going to write about big foot researchers being intimidated by the internet community. I don't see that up there,do you,lol? We may never know why or who it was for, I just hope it will touch them somehow.
Luke, I already know you very well and know how you are when you step into the forest. You are so facinated by every insect and the things they do. You see every bird, every squirrel and seem to know all about them and if you don't, you will make it a mission to find out,lol. You sometimes become so absorbed in the wildlife and plant life that you might walk right past a great limb twist. I have witnessed this,lol. You truly are in your element. It rejuvenates you and you become a teacher like none I have ever had the blessing to be with.Your new wife is awesome and supports you. Eventhough she has other interests, she takes an interest in what makes you happy too. I really felt for you those years ago when you went through so much. I am very glad that you decided to come back. Luke, you do have so much to offer. You have a gift for teaching and you are willing to share your knowledge. It would have been a great injustice if you had taken a different path. Like tx7mm said, sometimes you don't know why things happen and it takes time to see why. I think you can look at your life now and see why you went through what you did then. I am proud to know you and know that the decision to come back was the right one.
tx7mm, to say I am surprised by your post is an understatement.I just loved it and it spoke to me. I thank you for sharing that part of yourself. I know just exactly what you mean by "seeing". I wouldn't trade this gift of "seeing" for the way I used to be not for anything because what I see is the real, natural and wonderful. I also can tell when I meet someone if they can see or not. You just know. I am so glad you are a "seer". I look forward very much to meeting you one day. You have shown me that you have great wisdom about life and about our natural world. I thought your post was awesome. Thank you so much. I might have shared a look at me in my post but in your post, I saw you too. You are a brother and always welcome at our fire.
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Courage does not always roar, Sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day, saying,......" I will try again tommorow."
Mary Anne Radmacher
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tx7mm
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 05:19 am |
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| Thank You, 7fireflies. About half way through typing my post my fingers went on autopilot. Your post spoke to me in a very deep way. I've PMed you a message. It is good to be among those who can "see". I feel blessed to be in your company. JK
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"Vegetables are what FOOD EATS!" -Confirmed CARNIVORE -TX7MM
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Lorraine
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 06:49 am |
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7fireflies, that was a wonderful post. What you speak of is the risk all people who have a passion take. It doesn't only happen in BF research, of course. My first husband and I parted ways over a similar thing. Though near the end there were many problems, the one that did us in was that I had a passion for caving, and he didn't cave at all. He couldn't understand my passion for it, and I couldn't explain how it touches the soul to climb a thin rope up 300 feet in a chasm of darkness, your light barely touching a soaring cathedral wall of rock, a waterfall thundering out of darkness above, disappearing into darkness below, or what it's like to discover a passage of glittering white gypsum crystals interrupted only by solid "waterfalls" of scarlet flowstone, a passage that no human or animal before you has ever laid eyes upon. He tried to force me to quit by unilaterally deciding to move home (his home) to New Hampshire (a place without caves of any significance), assuming I would be forced to go along or at least follow him up there. I didn't. A year later I divorced him. A year later, a National Geographic magazine came out with an article about a cave in New Mexico I'd been working in, and knowing that I'd worked with the photo crew, my ex- bought it. He called me up and apologized, saying, "I hated your caving because you had something you loved, and I didn't have anything I loved that much. I wanted to destroy it for you, but looking at those pictures...now I understand."
My present husband and I have been married almost 17 years. He's disturbed that I've taken an interest in BF. He thinks I've gone too far out on the fringe. I'm a little surprised by his reaction, but I've always had unusual interests, especially for a woman, and some of them have made him uncomfortable. We're both very autonomous, though. He's always been supportive of my interests, and I've been supportive of his, even when the interests are ones we don't share or ones that make one of us uncomfortable (for example, when we married, he disliked guns, and I own a lot of guns). We've tolerated and supported each other's obsessive passions for various interests for the past 17 years. Neither of us feel the need to do everything together, and neither of us are threatened by the other having a passionate interest and friends who share that interest. I don't think he believes there are BF running around the southeast, but he's trying to humor me, and I check in here instead of talking obsessively about it to him. Still, he's weirder about the BF thing than he's ever been about anything else. I think he's really worried that it's tinfoil beanie time.
Last edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 06:51 am by Lorraine
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Dixie Banshee
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Posted: Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 11:25 pm |
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"I knew right then and there I still had something to offer and I can only thank those kind people for showing this to me. Each and every one of them still to this day stand by me even when I am down. I call these people true friends. I found out that what I do in research touches many people’s lives in one way or another. I will share what I know about these fascinating creatures with whoever will listen. I only hope it helps them on this incredible journey called bigfoot research.
If not careful research will consume you and chew you up and spit you out if you let it. Don’t become lost in the political BS that seems to plague the research community and follow your heart. "
Luke, it was MY honor to meet you. I had researched with a number of people from Texas who spoke very highly of you and told me things that only a TRUE researcher knew. I was very much looking forward to the day that our paths crossed. That time in Texas was the only time we got together and I was envious of the fact that, between the two of us, we were bombarded from every direction with questions from the whole group, you and I never had a real chance to "sit" at the fire together (That day is coming, Hoss, and in the very near future). I was greedy, but understanding at the same time, as I wanted to just pull a log over to the side and close a curtain around the two of us, but you and I are not that way, we care first: about people, as that is attributed to our "raising," which I would have no other way, and second: to the study of Man Above's greatest creation; BF.
I never once thought that getting together as we did for only a short time (about 8 hours), re-lit the fire inside you, and I Thank Man Above that it did, as the BF world would have been an much emptier place without you and your valuable knowledge. Without going into details, which I would never litter this great forum with, we are all in a way, rejects or castaways in some form or another. Knowledge is power and a number of knowledgeable people have been cast to the side because of their research. This was done for a number of different reasons but the main one being, we were viewed as a threat of some kind. "I now see," said the blind man, as to why. Just look at this forum and the number of TRUE researchers posting here without malice or greedy intent. We can accomplish so much more with well trained/taught researchers from all over, not only the South, but nationally. We could help others, at no charge, learn this creature and they would then pursue this creature as actively as most of us. We do not offer no frills or guarantees but from experience well earned. We ask nothing in return but honesty, commitment, and true friendship. We should never judge others as this is something we would not ask of others, but this is not a perfect world. I can honestly guarantee that on this forum there will never be any hassles as long as men like Mike (Watch1) is "riding herd." I almost melted when Tal called me while in the field Thursday night, with Kedema and her family from Texas, and told me about Mike and the dire emergency that placed his very existence in jeopardy. Thank Man Above for his divine wisdom in sparing, not only a great friend but a man that I look up to for his spiritual values. Sometimes we use language on the chat section that makes me cringe when I see it, as I know Mike see's it also, but Mike understands the people from the South, that we are very passionate about our drive and desire with whatever we do, whether researching or spiritual. This is why the Southern people are always counted upon when this country is in need for true men and women. Please understand, those of you reading from other locations, this is not an affront toward you, as you had no choice on where you was raised (joking).
FF, I'm still shaking my head slowly from your above post. You HAVE truly come full circle. It is a long way from an all night face-to-face in a place in Mississippi called, of all things, "Witch Dance" (a place known for, in the past, pagan rituals). Remember one of the first things I told that very naive lady who did not think BF could be in the South and then even at her back porch in Texas, "Always set your priories first." We all make mistakes, as we are human and not perfect by any means. Man Above has a roadmap and sometimes the path that he places us upon will have more bumps then smooth pavement, but this is for a reason that we should never question. I've made mistakes and will again in the future, but I'm thankful that I can owe up to them. Pride is a trait that can cloud judgement and I'm a very prideful man. My pride caused me, like Luke, to turn my back on people that I loved. I see now this was for a reason. It made me a more peaceful person and a much better researcher. When I flagrantly left the BF community, I did it for very selfish reasons. I was bound and determined to gather evidence and cram it down the BF communities throat! This would cover the stigma that was branded upon me (as it was one I had nothing to do with). I, in the past, would fight back tooth and nail but this was accomplishing nothing. While upon my self-imposed sabbatical, under the cathedral of Man Above's mightiest temple, I re-found my direction that I lost through conflict. This was accomplished, by all things, BF. I grew to understand an inner peace and respect that I once had with this creature. So many want to declare that BF only causes pain and suffering but that is totally false. Getting back into nature by myself caused me to realize that I was going about this for all the wrong reasons. A calm descended upon me as I was again taking my own sweet time in the forest and this demeanor was received by this amazing creature. I once counted each booger individually ( 8 ) but since then I've quit counting. I now care less about the charlatans with personal agenda's. If one wants to hear what I have to say then I will speak, if not, fine. I do not have to convince anybody of what is real and what is not. It is no sweat off my back.
This reminds me of the Biblical parable, "The Prodigal Son." We are all accepted (as Shasta would say) with our warts and failings, which causes us to grow much stronger. I'm so very proud to be associated with the finest group of people in existence within the BF community! Just remember, we are in the infant stages here but I'm thinking this is going to be something BIG!
Thanks again Laurie, ma'am, for the very thought provoking topic. I understand you perfectly as I was there. It moved me deeply as I know that it came from the heart.
DBLast edited on Sun Mar 23rd, 2008 11:35 pm by Dixie Banshee
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"The only thing more dangerous then ignorance is arrogance, taken in combination, the two qualities are even more alarming" ----Eistein
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Robroy
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Posted: Mon Mar 24th, 2008 12:09 am |
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Too all that has posted on this thread.First ,Mike get well soon buddy you are in my prayers.When I first started looking for answers, I read many forums.I soon found out that the boys from Bama (as always) was most friendly and most of all "genuine".Now what I mean there are there alot of folks on this forum that mean what they say and say what mean,whether they are from MS,GA,TN,TX,FL,or AL.DB,we have never met but will soon ,I think you are one great fellow and teacher.I am an infant to the bigfoot researching thing,but I have learnt so much from this forum it is amazing, actually brought forth some things I was hearing out there.
yes this thing is all to consuming! I have sit in this chair I am sitting typing right now many nights ,hours on end reading and writing notes, reading everyones experiences. While the little lady lays asleep in the next room. I had to find a happy medium.But she is very understanding ,I guess thats why we been together for 18 years ,when everyone told us it wouldn't work.
Look at us now! All she was concerned with was that my little "Daniel Boone" would be scared to go back into the woods.
I'll quit rambling , but for all : what you do means a lot ! to alot of different folks even if you don't see it!!
THANKS! RobRoy
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plowboy
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Posted: Mon Mar 24th, 2008 05:18 pm |
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| I know after I seen my first bf, my time started being comsumed looking at bf web sites and after we discoverd they were behind my home, me and my buddy started staying on the mountain all the time,my wife at first was very skeptical she firgured we were fooling with a bear, till the ape sounds and knocking started around my home at night, she since that time she even started going with us sometimes,she has always been a outdoor person and even may have had several encounters years ago hunting after reading some of the post from varoius forum members.My two smallest children are very excited about them being close by,my middle daughter loves to go calling with us and even said she seen something move one night across a beaver pond from us, she said she seen what looked like a shoulder and arm,I know the walker coon hound with us was looking in same spot with his hair standing on his back and eyes moving with something.any way I know must put God and family first then any free time to bf. plowboy
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oldcrow
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Posted: Fri Mar 28th, 2008 03:31 pm |
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Ff that was a wonderful thread. There is some very good advice in there for newer people. When we are not compatable with someone, one side or the other look for something to blame it one. The truth is we just grow in different directions at times.
Dixie you are so right about this being a great group of people. Setting priorities is so hard at times. I know. Everyone in this group has a lot to offer. From all differnet sides. Thats what makes this so special. I am so thankful that Mike is on the mend. He is truely a blessing to all of us.
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harry_footicus
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Posted: Fri Mar 28th, 2008 06:32 pm |
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Crow, I think you hit the nail on the head. When I first read this post, I was a bit speechless. So many parts of it rang in as a part of my past, and an errie feeling went across my soul thinking about what could happen in my future.
I got a divorce about a year ago, simply put because we had grown in different directions. It happens! I woke up one day, and ask myself, "how did I get here" Then in a moment of self-realization, I knew. She had her life, and I had mine, and they were not in the same boat (or lake for that matter) so to speak.
I have since remarried, and my wife now makes my life her's and I make her life mine. So I am keeping the sound advice in this post in my mind as I go forward in life. Letting any one thing consume your life is being a bit selfish if you consider how much there is to life. Great post, and very good advice... Thanks.... H.F.
Last edited on Fri Mar 28th, 2008 06:35 pm by harry_footicus
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The silence you hear is the presence of the unseen...
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Tom S
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Posted: Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 01:30 am |
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7ff,
You really started out a great Thread here & the other Members have kept it fantastic. I for one started out in this field of Research with my better half. I will explain here as I have explained to a new friend.
I was never really into the Research as I grew up a city boy most of my life. I saw what they showed on the tv of the Patterson/Gimlin footage of Patty, but never felt an interest into researching.
When I finally did get moved back to TN. I thought that it was time to find some new friends and maybe a date. So I put my profile on the PalTalk singles thing. I had noticed a few different ladies and posted long letters to them introducing myself but to no avail. Well then I spotted a new profile that was put up one day within the mileage I hoped for. There was no picture, just a description of the woman and a description of what she was looking for. So I sent a message of "Here is my profile, if you would like to talk, contact me." I just thought why waste a whole bunch of time writing a long letter again.
Well she contacted me and we started chatting on Paltalk and then grew to e-mailing back and forth. After a few weeks we finally exchanged phone #'s and I called. We would talk about every day for a week and a half. Then one day I said that I had to go because I needed to mow the grass, she said that when I was done that I could come and mow hers because her lawn mower was broke. I thought she was joking at first so I laughed. She said seriously, I will make dinner if you do cut my grass. So I said OK, I would bring my riding lawn mower over tomorrow and do it.
Man when I got there my jaw dropped to my chest, the grass was up to your knees. LOL!! I thought man it is going to take for ever to cut that grass. (Giggling now over it.) So she came out of the house and we introduced our selves and I said I had to get started cutting. It took like 3 passes over the whole thing to get it looking presentable. LOL!!
Well when I was finally done cutting she had supper ready and we ate. Then we went for a walk up the road to talk and she could show me the farm. While we were walking back toward the house she said something that surprised the crap out of me. She asked if I believed in Bigfoot? I thought "what is this lady talking about" at first. But then I thought to myself that I have always had an open mind. So I told her that I had never seen one except on TV but I had an open mind that anything is possible. Well she told me that if I visited her very often that I would probably see one and to not be scared, that they wouldn't hurt me. Well this woman that I had spent so much time getting to know before meeting in person turns out to be Janice Carter and we have been inseparable since. I knew nothing of Janice Carter or the Carter farm prior.
We were together for around 1 month and Igor Bourtsev came from Russia to Research and live with us on the farm for a time. I tell ya, what a great start into this Research this has been for me. I believe that I have learned from the best instructor on how to accomplish this Research by Jan. She has taught me so much and she loved how fast that I would catch on. I was finding hair in no time along with other evidence. I found 2 different bedding areas and prints and had partial night time sightings. I also had an early am sighting when the sun was just high enough before the crest to light the fields out behind the house. I have heard deer climb trees!! Deer sound imitations, I am a bow hunter and have hunted deer so I know what they sound like.
I have heard pounding on the floor coming from the basement to be quite. LOL!! There is just so much that has made me a firm believer that I can not deny the truth. Jan has taught me how to listen for their pronuctuation of the English language and I can understand so much of the Bigfoot Recordings Volume 2. I even hear their son say Gracious when his mother hands him what ever she took away from his dad. This means that they are multilingual.
Well enough from me for now, I hope this helps you understand how I got involved in this Research and how I feel safe that I will not loose my partner over researching the Forest Friends.
PS If I ever abbr. FF it means Forest Friend, I will make sure that I add the 7 to ff when abbr. 7fireflies. I just feel that the nick Bigfoot is improper and worn out.
Tom S.
Last edited on Thu Jul 3rd, 2008 01:31 am by Tom S
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Regina
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Posted: Mon Jul 7th, 2008 03:19 pm |
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Hi Tom!
I have heard Jan tell the same story and if makes me smile every time! I am so glad that you found each other and that you can enjoy researching together!
I had two thoughts on this thread:
1) I think it is easy to blame moving in different directions as the cause of a break up. I know I felt that way when my marriage broke up. But I also think that there has to be something more causing the problem because a strong basis for a marriage would allow for a partner's the new experiences. People do have to grow. Like everything else...balance is important.
2) With that said I hope that any future partner I find has the same interests as I do in some places because I do think that lends itself to a strong frienddship, which should be lasting in any relationship.
Regina
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cindyg
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Posted: Wed Jul 9th, 2008 03:51 pm |
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Wow FF.........you hit it on the nail. In 98 Ron and me seperated, but it wasnt because of BF. Just basic junk. In the beginning I did meet a group I wont post here.....but Ron did not like these individuals.....he said they were too aggressive....lol.........he did not like the way some of these people treated me after I decided not to join the group. I was called a numerous of things, and none of them were pretty. This really made him mad because I have an aggressive nature, but I am also the most loyal person on earth, and the treatment I was getting from these people because I would not "send a check"......and I said I would to join their group started a ridiculous war. How was he supposed to let me go out and research with strange people in the woods....lol.....especially after this happened. Anyway, I was fortunate to meet Luke. Luke, probably wants to forget he met me......lol...I am trouble...........but I call it like I see it and found that out quickly in this field you have to curve your tongue or have few friends. Luke, you took me out in the woods and showed me the different things that I needed to know...and for that I am forever thankful. Luke is so funny....I got to meet his partner at the time and she must have thought I was no threat lol....and she went in to where Ron was working and met him and sized him up too.......lol.......so thank you Luke...you deserve the original award. I know you think I am rude and crude, and socially unacceptable and trouble, but that is me. I really did want you to know that I really did appreciate all you did for me.
After that I met Bear, Shasta, FF, Kedema, Coonbo and many others that became the significant people in the field in my life. This is when trouble walked in the door. John was about four at the time......he is my oldest. Now he is 13 but at the time, when we were living outside of Dallas, tx, I met these folks and soon was out all the time. I was out every weekend that I could go and went out to all lengths to go out despite ron getting irritated..........and we had just gotten back together after a seperation....lol....so I was really pushing it here. I did not slow down until 2002 when I got pregnant....lol........I would actually go out in the field and sleep in the truck because I was so tired. Everybody was so nice to me..and stood by my side through thick and thin and all the scrapes I got caught up in. I slowed down and moved to North Idaho and for a period there...we all scattered..........some friendships blossomed and some scattered. Some went out and met others. FF, I remember your relationship and your breakup and my heart went out to you...and DB.....many a night I called you after Justin was born......I had that postpartum depression thing going on and Ron and me were walking on thin ice again..........you got me through many talks, etc............for a moment there.....I thought you have got to be kidding.....we might not make it........AGAIN.....but now we are doing fine......but I would not have done that again........I am almost afraid to go up and discover more of the woods here where I live........it is most beaitufiul here but I have come to a new place in my life......after being out with many of you many nights and many campfires and many laughs and tears........and living through this dam Iraq war......and almost....almost..........loosing my husband to overseas.......and watched while my husbands unit got sent to Iraq and we got sent to WV.....I remember the day I woke up and felt sick...something wasnt right........Ron called me from work....and said....."guess what".........one of our soldiers that I had joked with just the year before in Idaho.....died........his fiance...was distraught....and could not function anymore............I hung up the phone and wept........he was young and smart and had his whole lifea ahead of him. This war has changed me...........forever and for the better. If any of you know what I am talking about and can feel a little bit of what I am saying....remember waht is important in life........and try not to get caught up in the moment.....bigfoot is there and will always be there.......you might have to miss an opportunity.........but do not ignore your important loved ones in life. That is what makes us who we are. Nurture and care for what you have loved over time, and do not expect them to change. If they give a little rope, which in my case, Ron gave me the whole thing, try to be reasonable. There are more important things in life than BF. Good luck to everyone out there who is having a hard time with this. Thank god, I live where I do. And thank god I have a husband who loves me. Our relationship is not perfect and some times I think, what the heck am I still doing here. LOL. But ain't nobody out there that I know of that is going to put up with my stuff. DB, you know what I'm talking about. I have a fuse of a firecracker, and this has gotten me in trouble more than once. I will not apologize for it, but will aplogize for being an ass if it was my fault for sparking anything. Or partaking in any kind of bs. I'm rough around the edges, but if you know the real me, I'm also a sucker. DB, you seen that in me from the getgo.
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